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Issue of 2/3/2010

Cover Story:

Smashing ACORN
by Curt Guyette
There’s a bigger scandal than the pimp tapes


Poems, prayers and promises by Detroitblogger John
A teacher lives without students in a museum without visitors


Sonic! by Brett Callwood
Duende! spins traditional Americana with classic noise rock. So how the hell does it work?

The Chase comes to an end by Travis R. Wright (Art Bar)
More cash for local life-changers

Cheat Code by Bryant Franks (Cheat Code)
Skatin', killin' and just plain fightin'

Comics (Comics)

Food Stuff by Metro Times food staff (Food Stuff)
Wine dinners, Valentine's Day at the B&B and more

Letters to the Editor by Metro Times readers (Letters to the Editor)
A selection of outbursts from the public

Written on the mind and the body by Michael Corbin (Lit Up)
John A. Rich argues that homicide statistics don’t tell the whole story when assessing urban violence

Metro Retro by Metro Times staff (Metro Retro)
Looking back over 30 years of Metro Times

Motor City Cribs by Doug Coombe (Motor City Cribs and Rides)
The view from Jason Stollsteimer's Ferndale attic

Elder abuse alert by News Hits staff (News Hits)
Why Michigan's elderly are more at risk than ever

Wheeeed! by News Hits staff (News Hits)
Our trip to the Caregivers Cup, or a toke too far

Night and Day by Megan O'Neil (Night and Day)

Two cheers for Granholm by Jack Lessenberry (Politics and Prejudices)
Our governor (finally) decides to lead on two key issues

On good pedophiles by Dan Savage (Savage Love)
What about those who keep it to themselves?

West of Wyoming by Metro Times food staff (Short Order)
A handy shortlist of restaurants in Dearborn

Let us speak prankly by Leslie Savan (Visiting view)
About that Louisiana break-in: 'Boys will be boys'

Jesus, it's cold by D'Anne and Laura Witkowski (Wonder Twins)
The Wonder Twins do the WAB



Local Boys - Motor City Horns Reviewed by Bill Holdship (Record)

No Boundaries - Fifth Way Reviewed by Bill Holdship (Record)

Sao Paulo - Deadstring Brothers Reviewed by Brett Callwood (Record)


A Town Called Panic Reviewed by Jeff Meyers (Movie)
To recount the plot would be a waste of time since there really isn’t one. Suffice to say it concerns the endless (and increasingly outlandish) this-then-that mishaps of three housemates: Cowboy, Indian and Horse. They live in the countryside and are neighbors with a hot-tempered farmer, his long-suffering wife and a menagerie of animals. There’s also Policeman, Postman and Horse’s fondest desire, the orange-maned piano teacher Madam Longree. Everyone and everything the trio does, says or encounters is informed by how kids play with their toys. There are ridiculous plot twists, exaggerated “adult” behaviors, and even comically absurd voices. Take BFFs Cowboy and Indian, for instance. One has a gun and the other a bow and arrow. Cowboy screeches, Indian mumbles. That’s as much character development as you get. Nothing about either suggests they are anything other than hyperactive kids who make endlessly brainless choices.

When in Rome Reviewed by Corey Hall (Movie)
The pride of Huntington Woods, Kristen Bell, stars as Beth, an uppity movie New York gal so focused on her career that she's doomed to be a klutzy social loser unable to keep a man for long. After getting dumped, Beth jets off to magical Rome for her kid sister’s wedding, though she thinks it’s a huge mistake. Turns out best man Nick is pretty dreamy (Josh Duhamel), if a little cocky, and a sitcom-styled misunderstanding finds her plucking coins from an enchanted love fountain causing four random strangers to fall hopelessly in love with her. Insipid comedy and broad slapstick follow.

Phantom Vibrations Reviewed by Corey Hall (Movie)
First time Filmmaker Jacob Hurwitz-Goodman shows promise, but also stumbles into obvious traps they teach you to avoid in film school, including the dreaded alarm clock and toothbrush sequence, the inability to frame a two-shot, a repetitive synthesizer score and stilted line readings. The story follows a fuzzy, drugged-out day in the life of a puppy-like TV director named Morris (Peter Damm), who shambles around Chicago struggling with hallucination and reality. After a friend casually hands him a vial of clear liquid to dose his latte with, Morris then drifts in and out of a recurring vision, starring his girlfriend Ashley and an advertising man named Jack, living a parallel life somewhere in California, where they like to stare at pinecones. These weird trips are making Morris’s days extremely difficult, including one that sees him interviewed on a Charlie Rose-style show, where he keeps losing the thread of conversation. You may find it equally hard to focus as Morris and a buddy take a seemingly endless car ride where they ramble about nothing, and manage to stiff a panhandler at a red light.

Edge of Darkness Reviewed by Corey Hall (Movie)
Gibson plays Tommy Craven, a vet Boston detective, which, by implication, makes him a badass you don’t want to mess with. He’s also a doting dad who morphs into a remorseless avenging angel when his scientist daughter Emma (Bojana Novakovic) is gunned down beside him on his front porch. His fellow cops think the bullets were meant for him, but Tommy has a hunch there’s something more than an ex-con grudges at play, and he starts combing through Emma’s phone looking for suspects. Eventually that trail leads him to the penthouse castle of her boss Jack Bennet, a nuclear power magnate, played with oily menace by Danny Huston, who’s almost as big a creep as the one his old man played in Chinatown. Bennet is hip-deep in illicit defense contracts and treacherous dirty deals, but he’s got the unmitigated gall to stare Craven down and ask how it felt to lose his little girl. Ass-kicking soon ensues.

District 13: Ultimatum Reviewed by Jeff Meyers (Movie)
Trying to blend French class warfare issues with John Woo-style kinetics, both Ultimatum and its predecessor feature a pair of humorless leads and some truly incredible action sequences. Parkour founder David Belle and martial arts stuntman Cyril Raffaelli team up again to fight evil French bureaucrats with a secret plan to level the dystopian, multi-ethnic District 13 slum to make way for upper-class high rises — no matter how many brown-skinned pseudo-citizens get offed in the process.


Gim Ling Restaurant Reviewed by Todd Abrams (Restaurant)
Gim Ling has served dine-in and carryout at the same St. Clair Shores strip mall location for decades. Only relatively recently has it been transformed into a “Modern Asian restaurant.” In this case, the term “modern” mostly serves as a stand-in for “better.” New diners, as well as those with memories of a Gim Ling past, are in for quite a revelation when they dig into a dish. The locals have been spreading the word. On a typical Saturday night, you’ll find a substantial line of folks waiting on carryout. Gim Ling has as robust a takeout business as we’ve witnessed at a Chinese restaurant. The dining room is usually at least half-capacity, and we can’t help wonder how big a crowd might be drawn if they served adult libations along with the quality fare. Open 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Monday-Saturday, noon-10 p.m. Sundays and holidays.