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Issue of 12/24/2008

Cover Story:

Ball droppers
by Megan O'Neil
Where to go for a stroke of midnight


Drawn wrong by Corey Hall
The sick and twisted animation festival that wouldn't die

Ignore their roar by Jeff Meyers
The Detroit Film Critics society has spoken

People who died by Anna Ditkoff, Edward Ericson Jr. & Lee Gardner
Some deaths deserve a little extra note

Perfect bodies by Glen Mannisto
Robert Schefman's painted storylines mock racial, physical stereotypes and tell of a woman God

Platform for peace by the Huntington Woods Peace, Citizenship and Education Project
The steps Obama needs to take

Twins, longing by Chris Handyside
The Sisters Lucas release an album at the Lager House


Comics (Comics)

Food Stuff by Metro Times food staff (Food Stuff)

Motor City Cribs by Doug Coombe (Motor City Cribs and Rides)
Warren Defever's studio space at the UFO Factory

Lessons not learned by News Hits staff (News Hits)
At Detroit Public Schools, Connie Calloway ousted, same old problems remain

Night and Day by Megan O'Neil (Night and Day)

Papers in crisis by Jack Lessenberry (Politics and Prejudices)
Detroit's dailies gamble that grandma wants to download the paper

Dumping grounds by Dan Savage (Savage Love)
Dan urges quick breakups, takes aim at 'abstinence education'

Pile it high by Metro Times food staff (Short Order)
A listing of local places with notable buffets


 No Reviews


The Tale of Despereaux Reviewed by Jeff Meyers (Movie)
A ship rat named Roscuro (voiced by Dustin Hoffman) accidentally causes the death of the Queen of Dor when he falls into her soup. The king, heartbroken, outlaws the annual Soup Festival, banishes all rodents, and causes the country to fall into despair. Enter Despereaux (Matthew Broderick), an unnaturally brave little mouse with ginormous ears who sets out to rescue Dor’s Princess Pea (Emma Watson) from the clutches of a nefarious rat king (Frank Langella). His journey dovetails with the double-dealing actions of Roscuro and a homely chambermaid (Tracey Ullman), who has been abandoned by her father. Oh, and there’s also a subplot involving the kingdom’s chief soup chef and a ghost that uses fruits and veggies to give him physical form. Sound like fun? Too bad directors Sam Fell and Robert Stevenhagen don’t know how to inject their film with any urgency or excitement and screenwriters Will McRobb and Chris Viscardi don’t know who the hell’s story they’re trying to tell.

The Reader Reviewed by Jeff Meyers (Movie)
The story, set in 1958, concerns Michael Berg (David Kross), a 15-year-old German who falls in love and begins an affair with Hanna Schmitz (Kate Winslet) a sexy but sullen thirtysomething trolley attendant. Naïve and inexperienced, Michael rides a rollercoaster of elation and torment as Hanna repeatedly beds him then emotionally withdraws. Only when the teen begins to read to her does Hanna’s icy heart seem to melt. Then abruptly as it began, their relationship ends when Hanna suddenly moves away. Flash forward to Michael’s law school years. On a class visit to the courts, he is shocked to discover that his former lover is on trial for war crimes. Caught between love and guilt, he struggles to reconcile his feelings, the results of which we see in modern-day vignettes that feature Ralph Fiennes as the tormented adult-version of Michael. In the film’s final scene, an Auschwitz survivor (played by Lena Olin) beautifully and eloquently argues that, “Nothing came out of the camps. They weren’t therapy. If you want catharsis go to the theater.” Strange then that screenwriter David Hare and director Stephen Daldry go to such great pains to reduce this historically awful event to an act of banal evil.

Doubt Reviewed by Jeff Meyers (Movie)
John Patrick Shanley’s big-screen adaptation of his award-winning play Doubt kicks things off, and while he probably should have handed directing duties over to someone with subtler touch, the movie boasts enough fiery theatrics and lip-smacking scenery-chewing to satisfy adult audiences. Set in Brooklyn in 1964, the metaphorical fisticuffs fly as tyrannical Catholic school principal Sister Aloysius Beauvier (Meryl Streep) becomes convinced that jovially progressive priest Father Flynn (Philip Seymour Hoffman) has sexually abused a 12-year-old altar boy. The ensuing confrontations become a theatrical landscape where moral relativism is pitted against religious certainty, patriarchy is challenged and Vatican I goes mano a mano with Vatican II.

Seven Pounds Reviewed by Serena Donadoni (Movie)
Smith embodies an inquisitive IRS agent named Ben Thomas, but something seems wrong right away. He rattles off the numbers quite easily to the people he cheerily approaches to announce that they’re being audited, but seems more interested in discussing their medical conditions and determining whether or not they’re “good.” Even though Smith employs his trademark charm to woo the hesitant, there’s a palpable hostility to Ben’s concentrated attention, a rage waiting to be unleashed when he’s disappointed or betrayed. First-time screenwriter Grant Nieporte structures Seven Pounds like a mystery, but fails to deliver the most important requirement of the genre: a satisfying denouement. With so many quasi-spiritual profundities grafted onto this simple story, it could be argued that Nieporte’s aiming for that great transcendent moment when sloppy plotting is forgiven in a rush of divine understanding. Despite the best efforts of Smith, who wears his suffering like a hair shirt, close to his scarred body and shattered heart, that moment never comes.

Bedtime Stories Reviewed by Serena Donadoni (Movie)
In this kid-oriented picture, Skeeter Bronson (Adam Sandler) is an overlooked good guy ala The Wedding Singer (1998), albeit one who never outgrew his childish impulses, much to the chagrin of his tightly wound sister, Wendy (Courtney Cox). The principal of an elementary school scheduled for closure, Wendy heads out of state for job interviews, leaving her two kids in the care of one responsible adult — her teacher friend Jill (Keri Russell) — as well as her brother. The strictly raised, well-behaved Patrick (Jonathan Morgan Heit) and Bobbi (Laura Ann Kesling) seem alien to Skeeter, but in the Disney movie tradition of wise children educating immature, self-centered adults, they’ll make him a better man.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Reviewed by Jeff Meyers (Movie)
Born an old man, Benjamin Button’s (Brad Pitt) mother tragically dies in childhood. Horrified, his father, a wealthy button-manufacturer, abandons him on the steps of a New Orleans nursing home. Here Benjamin is discovered by a loving black employee (Taraji P. Henson) who decides to raise him among the elderly residents. With his arthritic joints and cataract-clouded eyes, the boy feels right at home. But as each year passes, Benjamin grows younger, and eventually he sets off to see the world as a 60-year-old teenager. Meandering from one encounter to the next, he experiences the elation and disappointment of first love as well as the tragedy of war. In time, however, Benjamin longs to return home to his family, and seek out the love of his life, Daisy (Cate Blanchett), a headstrong ballet dancer not ready to be romanced by someone who seems twice her age. Though various circumstances stand in their way, the two finally come together, knowing, of course, that their love’s impossible. As Daisy grows older, Benjamin grows younger. Their time as a couple is doomed to be fleeting and tragic. The entire tale unfolds as Daisy’s daughter reads Benjamin’s diary to her dying mother, with Hurricane Katrina beating against the hospital room windows. While the all elements seem to be in place, Benjamin’s an interior character, which works against actor Brad Pitt’s strengths. Harnessing some incredibly fine special effects and composing one arresting visual after another, director David Fincher provides enough provocative instances to carry us past the movie’s obvious flaws. Furthermore, the supporting cast, particularly the women, are all topnotch, filling the screen with humanity and grace. In the end, Benjamin Button is like a flawed poem; it doesn’t really add up to a successful or provocative whole. But his backward journey through life and loss has enough deeply felt moments of beauty that it sticks with you days

Marley & Me Reviewed by Serena Donadoni (Movie)
John Grogan (Owen Wilson) and wife Jenny (Jennifer Aniston) are so bland, their challenges so commonplace, that they need the anarchy of the Labrador retriever who will not be tamed (or shamed) to shake them out of their comfort zone. But in adapting the Detroit-born Grogan’s best-selling 2005 memoir, screenwriters Scott Frank (a great interpreter of Elmore Leonard’s novels) and Don Roos (The Opposite of Sex) keep this exuberant dog on a very tight leash. The newly married Grogans flee Michigan like snowbirds, steering their clunky Toyota Tercel towards warmer weather and journalism jobs (Jenny at The Palm Beach Post, John at The South Florida Sun-Sentinel). As in The Devil Wears Prada (2006), Frankel’s strength is portraying new hires finding their footing, and he has fun with this ambitious young couple, who casually bring a rambunctious puppy into their frenzied lives, not realizing the impact he’ll have on them.

Yes Man Reviewed by Corey Hall (Movie)
As Carl, a negative, closed-off bachelor-banker who makes excuses to everyone, Jim Carrey stars as a man who vows to say yes to every opportunity. Most of his friends are roughly 15 years younger than him, led by blandly handsome nonentity Bradley Cooper (Wedding Crashers) as the perfunctory best pal, with hipster Danny Masterson (That 70’s Show) as backup wise-ass. This crew fails to get Carl to give a toss about anything but himself, until a random encounter with an old friend (the ubiquitous John Michael Higgins) leads to a self-help seminar-cum-new age revival meeting, where the messianic guru (a hammed-up Terrance Stamp) shames Carl into saying “Yes!” to everything that comes his way. First move: Giving a homeless guy a ride to a city park, where he runs out of gas but is saved when adorable arty chick Alison (Zooey Deschanel) zips ups on a scooter. Deschanel excels at being irresistible, and tries to will the movie forward by the gleam of her smile and the dazzle of her saucer-sized blue eyes. It nearly works.


Gaucho Brazilian Steak House Reviewed by Jane Slaughter (Restaurant)
Lovers of excess, or lovers of meat, or lovers of excess meat: the Brazilian churrascaria (steakhouse) is your type of restaurant. At Gaucho, it’s rodizio style, meaning all you can eat, and you don’t even have to get up from your chair: a parade of servers offers sizzling skewers of beef, pork, lamb and chicken, and slice it for you tableside. The salad bar is immense (here you do have to bestir yourself), with not only salad fixings (including prosciutto, chunks of Parmesan and smoked salmon) but soups, bread, risotto and upscale vegetables: asparagus, artichokes, hearts of palm. Of the 15 meats on offer, a few are delicious, some OK, a few seemed like a bad idea, such as filet mignon wrapped in bacon. Best were top and bottom sirloin, alcatra and fraldinha. Beef ribs were meltingly fatty and soft, delicious in my book. Chicken: ordinary, unless wrapped in bacon. The Brazilians do less well with pork (the gaucho tradition is cow-herding, after all, not hog farming), the tenderloin just dry and the baby back ribs plain awful — nasty and tightly cleaving to the bone. Sausage (linguica) is a bit spicy, and that bit is its one flavor.