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Issue of 12/30/2009

Cover Story:

Amateur night
by Metro Times readers
Harrowing, embarrassing, and hilarious, here are our readers' (and some of our) twisted New Year's Eve tales


The best music of 2009 by Metro Times music staff
The tops in pop, punk, jazz, country and hip hop

The year in lists by Jeff Meyers & Corey Hall
From apocalyptic fetishes and doc-a-lots to teen-dream vampires and why no one will see the year's best movie


Thumb raiders by Bryant Franks (Cheat Code)
The absolute must-have games from 2009, and a glimpse at '10

Comics (Comics)

Food Stuff by Metro Times food staff (Food Stuff)
New Year's Yoga, slow food, grits and more

Idols, survivors & Bauer by Jim McFarlin (Idiot Boxing)
My so-called reality TV decade

Letters to the Editor by Metro Times readers (Letters to the Editor)
Our readers sound off on what's in the paper

Reporter sandbagged? by News Hits staff (News Hits)
Is Diane Bukowski being unfairly targeted by the Prosecutor's Office?

Night and Day by Megan O'Neil (Night and Day)

Farewell to 2009 by Jack Lessenberry (Politics and Prejudices)
A year that taxes the imagination comes to an end

Kisses, fails & farts by Dan Savage (Savage Love)
Perceived betrayals, fake 'open' relationships and eproctophilia

Grand River runs through it by Metro Times food staff (Short Order)
A shortlist of restaurants in Novi, Farmington and Farmington Hills

Word up by Travis R. Wright (Sketches in Grit)
From the hood to higher learning, teen poet Myriha Burton steps out

Fighting athlete abuse by Larry Gabriel (Stir It Up)
More satirical oddity from the Harangua files

D-spirited! by Walter Wasacz (The Subterraneans)
The best of 2009


 No Reviews


It's Complicated Reviewed by Corey Hall (Movie)
Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin are Annie and Jack, a divorced couple who, at their son’s graduation, drunkenly stumble into bed again. To their mutual shock, the old spark’s still there, and they start having clandestine hookups in plush hotel elevators, under the noses of their dippy grown children. The only real snag is that Baldwin is unhappily remarried, his pouty, young trophy wife is played Lake Bell, who’s mostly around so that her taut bikini bod can serve as sharp contrast to Streep’s earthy curves. There’s also the matter of Annie’s sweetly shy architect (Steve Martin), whom she’s started a hesitant flirtation with.

Sherlock Holmes Reviewed by Jeff Meyers (Movie)
We’re introduced to the decidedly a disheveled Holmes (Downey Jr.), an arrogant smarty-pants and amateur boxer who’s incapable of social niceties and susceptible to mental breakdowns whenever his fidgety genius isn’t engaged. His partner is the ever-patient Doctor Watson (a perfectly cast Jude Law), whose impending engagement threatens their codependent bromance. Enter beautiful Irene Adler (a superfluous Rachel McAdams), the only woman to ever steal Holmes’ heart and outsmart his big brain. Adler pulls the Victorian gumshoe into a confounding mystery. Creepy Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong), who was recently hanged for a quartet of occult killings, comes back from the grave to commit yet more murders. Is black magic afoot in England? Will Holmes solve the crime before more people die?


1917 American Bistro Reviewed by Jane Slaughter (Restaurant)
Don and Katrina Studvent’s new place is a bistro, if there can be an American version with a soul food foundation, and no liquor license for a few more months. It’s a bistro in the sense that it’s a family-owned place that serves moderately priced, relatively simple dishes and simple meals. It’s pretty, with attractive prices and a $13 Sunday brunch buffet that includes catfish with grits, chicken with waffles. Other choices are fried potatoes, turkey sausage, country bacon, fried ham, fried turkey, omelets, French toast, fresh fruit, breads and pastries.