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Issue of 2/10/2010

Cover Story:

They said what?!?
by Metro Times readers
The results of our Live and Lust Poll


Come together ... by Kahn Santori Davison
The Midwest Hip-Hop Summit calls for progressive action and activism

Kiss me by Norene Smith
Painless pointers for the perfect power-pout

Mind in the gutters by Sean Bieri
An incomplete and highly subjective selection of the sexiest characters in comics

My first porno by Bill Holdship
And, yes, it had a lot to do with my grandma

Notes of a dirty old man by Brian Smith
Jerry Vile recalls some unforgettable moments from a decade of The Dirty Show

Plug and play by Travis R. Wright
Big 3 engineer takes buyout, invents fuck machine

Sex Songs Hall of Fame by Bill Holdship
Songs designed to put butterflies in the guts of boys and girls

Wildlife in Detroit by Laura Witkowski
Or is it mildlife for FAWN? Either way, it's familiar.


Cheat Code by Bryant Franks (Cheat Code)
This hottie will get your joystick moving

Comics (Comics)

Where's the jockstrap? by Paul Knoll and David Paul (Couch Trip)
Let's see, were we watching the Super Bowl or gay porn ...

Food Stuff by Metro Times food staff (Food Stuff)
Old classics, new startups, romantic specials and more

Black like me by Jim McFarlin (Idiot Boxing)
Dr. Gates will raise eyebrows in Faces of America — just ask Eva Longoria

Letters to the Editor by Metro Times readers (Letters to the Editor)
In which our readers sound off

Metro Retro by Metro Times staff (Metro Retro)
A peek back through 30 years of Metro Times

Bridge bumps by News Hits staff (News Hits)
Moroun's bridge company ordered to rip down duty-free shop, build ramps

Sweet things, good cause by News Hits staff (News Hits)
Detroit's Avalon to raise bread for worthy charities

Night and Day by Megan O'Neil (Night and Day)

Missing the story by Jack Lessenberry (Politics and Prejudices)
Man likes dog: Or why newspapers stopped caring about us

Tail of the tape by Dan Savage (Savage Love)
Should I try to get that porno my girlfriend made with her ex?

Lovers' feasts by Metro Times food staff (Short Order)
A listing of restaurants with the ambience for romance

A promise and a riddle by Larry Gabriel (Stir It Up)
Why it's up to us to keep Obama on track



25,000 Years of Erotic Freedom - Alan Moore Reviewed by Sean Bieri (Book)

Sinner Take All: A Memoir of Love and Porn - Tera Patrick Reviewed by Bill Holdship (Book)


Dear John Reviewed by Corey Hall (Movie)
Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried (the big-eyed daughter from Big Love) are the star-crossed lovers; Savannah, a glimmering Southern belle, and John, a silently strong Special Forces badass with a gentle soul. They meet cute, have a brief, memorable affair and promise to reunite when his duty’s over, but when the World Trade Center gets hit, the wedding bells go quiet. John chooses country first, re-enlists, then keeps re-upping, while she patiently waits, declaring her affection through old-fashioned love letters on actual paper. Eventually, as the years and wars (and the movie) drag on, the letters get less frequent, until one last, fateful goodbye; John can take a bullet, but he can’t take that.

From Paris with Love Reviewed by Jeff Meyers (Movie)
The plot is a brainless American buddy flick where uptight and upright newbie agent Jonathan Rhys-Meyers partners with the outrageously vulgar Travolta to take down drug dealers and terrorists in gay Paree. Unfortunately, what starts as a barely serviceable excuse for shoot ’em ups turns laughably serious with its “politically aware” third-act twist. And unlike the recent District 13: Ultimatum, where producer Luc Besson injected a multi-cultural cadre of anti-heroes and heart-stopping stunts, we see an endless succession of featureless Asians and Arabs used as target practice for blustering American spies. It’s the kind of xenophobic nonsense that makes Fox News and Armond White fans cheer.

No Impact Man Reviewed by Corey Hall (Movie)
No Impact Man is the name of a project undertaken by Manhattan writer Colin Bevan, an experiment, blog, performance piece and prospective book pitch, to take himself and his family off the grid, to live for one year with as little negative environmental impact as possible. This means no eating out, no coffee, no TV, no refrigerator, no new clothes, or any of a hundred other modern conveniences most city folk consider a sacred birthright. (Of course what exactly the environmental footprint made by a film crew following you around the clock remains a mystery.) It’s almost impossible not to have an emotional response to this self-important, blogger asshole, as he subjects his adorable toddler daughter to a life without toilet paper or dignity. What starts with bike rides and locally grown root vegetables keeps expanding exponentially. As you watch Bevan’s self-inflicted deprivations get weirder — such as crafting homemade cosmetics or trying to use two dirt-lined clay pots as a mini fridge — your patience will dissipate faster than the ozone layer.

Munyurangabo Reviewed by Jeff Meyers (Movie)
With Lee Isaac Chung’s Munyurangabo, handheld camerawork and patient visual framing produces a rare and affecting character intimacy that gets under your skin. Though there is little in the way of dramatic dialogue (by Hollywood standards), you really feel like you know and understand the film’s two teenage Rwandans, Munyurangabo (Jeff Rutagengwa) and Sangwa (Eric Ndorunkundiye). They are journeying together to Munyurangabo’s village, where they intend to exact revenge on the man who murdered his father during the Rwandan genocide. Along the way, the youths stop to visit Sangwa’s family, where a fight with his belligerent father drove Sangwa away three years earlier. Over the course of two days, ethnic friction and familial longing start to unravel the teens’ friendship. Though to some, Munyurangabo’s pace will feel glacial, Chung and his indigenous actors let the characters’ backgrounds, struggles and personalities trickle out honestly. Deep kinship, jealousy, tenderness and resentment simultaneously fuel and thwart the teens’ desire to find reconciliation. Each desperately seeks connection, but encounters only estrangement — from family, from country and even from each other. It’s a quietly heartbreaking movie that makes clear the recent past that haunts every moment of Rwanda’s present.

The Last Station Reviewed by Jeff Meyers (Movie)
James McAvoy plays Valentin Bulgakov, a cartoonishly chaste and hopelessly naïve follower of Tolstoy, who earns a position as the aging writer’s secretary. Sent by Vladamir Chertkov (a mustache-twirling Paul Giamatti), he is also tasked to become a spy in the house of love … or marital discord, as the case may be. You see, Tolstoy (Christopher Plummer) and his long-suffering wife, the Countess Sofya (Helen Mirren), are pitched in a battle of egos and politics. The famed novelist, who espouses pacifism, self-sacrifice and Christian anarchy, is being pressured by Chertkov to rewrite his will and bequeath all his work to the Russian people. Sofya, of course, is having none of this. Poor Valentin gets caught in the middle, just as love blossoms with a comely yet skeptical Tolstoyan named Masha (Kerry Condon). The material is rich with possibilities, but writer-director Michael Hoffman is, unfortunately, not up to the task. Luckily, Hoffman has Mirren and Plummer to sell his schizophrenic tale, providing the esteemed actors with a showcase for their talents.


Los Corrales Reviewed by Todd Abrams (Restaurant)
Most everyone knows the strip of Bagley Street where the majority of Mexicantown establishments are concentrated. But real neighborhoods are not defined by a sole commercial district with freeway signs guiding the way. There are dozens of Mexican shops and restaurants scattered about southwest Detroit. Finding a satisfying meal at these places off the beaten path is a thrill. Los Corrales is one of them. The atmosphere is warm and laid-back. Los Corrales offers fare from all over Mexico. You’ll find chiles rellenos as well as chimichangas, but an emphasis on seafood dishes such as ceviche. Finish it all off with a horchata.