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Issue of 4/1/2009


Cover Story:



4 Play
by Metro Times staff
The not-complete-idiot's guide to surviving the Final Four

Features:

An idiotic guide to basketball by Michael Jackman
A completely stupid guide for the ignorant!

Fabulously funky by Don Waller
Hip-hoppers sample them, Europe loves them, but Detroit's Fabulous Counts never got their due

Feasting flick fest by Jeff Meyers
It's back, 47 years-old and ballsier than ever

Four myths about Detroit by Metro Times staff
Danger, mayhem, borders and more

Hot and steamy by Detroitblogger John
At a historic Detroit bath house, sex is optional, but nudity isn't

In courts divine by Bill Wylie-Kellermann
My life in the game

What to see by Metro Times staff
Metro Detroit natives pick the top sightseeing contenders

Columns:

Comics (Comics)

Final 4 countdown by John Thomason (Couch Trip)
The four greatest (and worst) basketball films ever!

Food Stuff by Metro Times food staff (Food Stuff)
Full plates for local foodies.

Letters to the Editor by Metro Times readers (Letters to the Editor)

Jeffrey Morgan's Media Blackout by Jeffrey Morgan (Media Blackout)
Music criticism at 600 miles per hour

Motor City Cribs by Doug Coombe (Motor City Cribs and Rides)
Millions of Brazilians' Woodbridge party pad

Worthy investigation by News Hits staff (News Hits)
Perjury flap spurs inquiry into Detroit prosecutor

Night and Day by Megan O'Neil (Night and Day)

Why GM failed by Jack Lessenberry (Politics and Prejudices)
In a nutshell, because of the industry's narrow, insular culture

Swing time by Dan Savage (Savage Love)
Some like it complicated, but not everybody

Steppin' out by Metro Times food staff (Short Order)
A guide to outdoor eating for April’s warm snaps

Reviews:

Music/Books:

To Lose My Life - White Lies Reviewed by Tim Grierson (Record)

Universal Malcontents - Outrageous Cherry Reviewed by Walter Wasacz (Record)

Cleaning Out the Ashtrays (Collected B-Sides and Rarities) - Lloyd Cole Reviewed by Brian Smith (Record)

Glasvegas - Glasvegas Reviewed by Bill Holdship (Record)

Movies:

Everlasting Moments Reviewed by Jeff Meyers (Movie)
This elegant but mopey melodrama tells the true story of an early 1900s working-class woman who discovers she has a gift for photography but struggles to remain loyal to her abusive husband and ever-growing family. Maid and mender, Maria Larsson (Maria Heiskanen), who, after winning a camera in the local lottery, tries to sell it for much-needed cash. Enter the charming photo shop owner, Sebastian Pedersen (Jesper Christianson), who talks her out of pawning it, convincing her to explore her artistic side. But as Maria’s hidden talents become unleashed, her drunken, philandering husband Sigfrid (Mikael Persbrandt) reacts with jealous self-interest. And then, of course, there’s the family brood, seven children with tales and troubles of their own. Maria is caught in an emotional tug-of-war. Despite her evolving creative spirit, she views the camera as a harbinger of family tragedy, banishing then retrieving it throughout her life. She bounces between joyous self-discovery, deep friendship with Pedersen, and the demands of home, while the domineering Sigfrid slowly struggles to prove himself a worthy provider. Despite Everlasting Moments’ gorgeous imagery, the film is schematically melodramatic and shamelessly sentimental, rife with bland dialogue and pointless digressions.

The Haunting in Connecticut Reviewed by Corey Hall (Movie)
Based on an allegedly “true” home invasion story from the ghost-happy 1980s, The Haunting in Connecticut is deep-fried in a double layer of supernatural hokum drenched in decades of haunted-house-movie orthodoxy. The fun starts when the middle-class Campbell family decides to rent a second home in far off Goatswood so that their sick eldest son Matthew (Kyle Gallner) won’t have to commute far after his chemo treatments. His worried mom (Virginia Madsen) finds the perfect spot, a roomy, gothic-looking fixer-upper, but with a caveat: It was once a mortuary where unholy experiments were performed long ago. Swiftly fading Matt starts seeing all sorts of dead people, and they are seven shades of freaky and nonplussed spectral guests. Eventually the whole family’s seeing spirits in the breakfast nook, and the puzzle starts to come together as a stack of moldy photos is found that details a lot of the unexplained phenomena. And then there’s a box full of human eyelids. The family calls in gravel-voiced Elias Koteas to bust some ghosts.

Revanche Reviewed by Jeff Meyers (Movie)
What starts as a too-slow neo-noir about an ex-con named Alex (Johannes Krisch) who decides to rob a bank in order to free his Ukrainian prostitute girlfriend (Irina Potapenko) from her pimp, unexpectedly turns into a muted but poignant moral drama. Building on the kind of coincidences that would sink a mainstream flick, Revanche (which can mean “revenge” or “do over”) sends Alex, devastated by the tragic outcome of the robbery, to his grandfather’s farm (Hannes Thanheiser) in the film’s second half. Nearby lives Robert (Andreas Lust), the unfortunate cop who stumbled upon the robbery. Tortured by its outcome and feeling emasculated by his inability to have a child, he withdraws from wife Susanne (Ursula Strauss). This ignites an unexpected relationship — between her and the brooding criminal contemplating revenge. While the plot twists probably sound soap opera-ish on paper, on screen Spielmann presents them as the inevitable ironies of life, understating the contrivances and rooting everything in gritty authenticity.

Monsters vs. Aliens Reviewed by Jeff Meyers (Movie)
The film centers on Susan (voiced by Reese Witherspoon), who’s struck by a meteor on her wedding day and mutates into a 50-foot bridezilla. Quarantined by the government and dubbed Ginormica, she’s recruited to defend the Earth from a giant alien robot. Teamed with a quartet of monsters — a reptilian “missing link” (Will Arnett), a Mothra-sized grub, a cockroach-headed scientist (Hugh Laurie) and Rogan’s dimwitted blob — Susan takes on Gallaxhar (Rainn Wilson), an intergalactic four-eyed blowhard who bears a more-than-passing resemblance to Squidward from SpongeBob SquarePants.

Restaurants/Places:

Supino Pizzeria Reviewed by Jane Slaughter (Restaurant)
Serving brilliant thin-crust pizza with imaginative fresh ingredients — even an egg — with a delectable thin crust that’s not too chewy. They serve five red pizzas and six white, meaning no tomato sauce; almost all are made with traditional ingredients, no pineapple, no taco fixings. The red sauce is supremely simple, nothing much besides some fresh-tasting though canned crushed tomatoes. The Primavera, a white, is topped with fresh tomatoes, artichokes, eggplant, red onion, mozzarella and spinach — lots of flavors. Also excellent is the housemade manicotti, a huge portion of ultra-thin pasta stuffed with ricotta and a bit of Parmigiano and topped with red sauce and mozzarella.

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