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Trailer Trawler

Reviews for ADD-addled folk who canít sit for 90 minutes

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Published 3/14/2007

Shooter

The trailer opens with Mark Wahlberg's flawed hero enjoying the solitude of his modern-day mountain man existence. Then Danny Glover shows up in an SUV wearing a suit. He takes his glasses off with menace. "You're a hard man to find," he says, chewing the first reheated dialogue donut of the trailer. Wahlberg's steely-eyed answer? "Not hard enough. Now hand me a piece of that donut."

Cut to the job description. Apparently someone's going to whack the president from a mile away. "There are only five or six men in the world who can take a shot like that," Wahlberg says. (His next line isn't "... and I killed the other five," but it really should be.) Then there's the setup. "It's a setup!" Wahlberg yells for clarification. He also gets popped, and tossed out a window. A flurry of quick cuts between news reports, computer screens, and G-men jogging purposefully in suits. "I didn't do whatever they said I did!" Wahlberg pleads to the wide-eyed girl gamine he's asked to lick his wounds. "You need to back off this," she advises. He doesn't. "I'm gonna find 'em," Wahlberg seethes, "And I'm gonna burn their playhouse down." Snap! Of course, first he finds time to get his swerve on with the lovely. Revenge can wait, y'all.

There are more close-ups of guns, graphs and other gobbledygook lifted from Enemy of the State. Ned Beatty appears as a crusty political operator; he rocks khakis like Cheney on holiday. Someone is stuffed into a cargo van. "He's trained in counter-intel," off-screen voices say of Wahlberg. "This guy's good."

Then Marky Mark consults Crusty Wise Man Who the Government Also Once Fucked. (See State.) The trailer concludes with a cold weather showdown, close-ups of a gargantuan sniper rifle, and what are probably Danny Glover's final words. "I have something you want," he growls, but he needs to see Wahlberg's ass coming "from a long way off."

Close-up on a Storm Shadow-style Wahlberg coldly squeezing the trigger. The real shooter of the title. And Glover just got too old for this shit.

Johnny Loftus is Metro Times music editor. Send comments to jloftus@metrotimes.com.

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