Love & sex
Brian Smith discusses MT's Live and Lust Poll on WDET. (MP3)
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|More Love & sex Stories|
Getting cuckold feet (10/6/2010)
Awkward threesomes (9/29/2010)
Hope for the future (9/22/2010)
|More from Metro Times staff|
Metro Retro (10/6/2010)
Metro Retro (9/29/2010)
Metro Retro (9/22/2010)
A woman who called herself Parker was the first to share and bare after we erected our second annual Live and Lust poll a few weeks back. She skipped as many questions as she answered, but filled in blanks to explain that love has a lot to do with it ... except when it doesn't. She confessed to a likewise anonymous someone out there somewhere that "I faked it. Always." And though she didn't count her past lovers, she wished she'd known when she was younger that "It's easy to get laid."
And then came Conchetta and Willie and Toney, the latter sharing the advice that one improves sexual technique the same way one gets to Carnegie Hall. Huh? Toney also rendered the mathematical equation: "Sex + love = hot hot hot." DL and Joyce and Lola and Adamo followed, straight and gay and lesbian and bi, younger and older, each adding to the unscientific accumulation of experience, exhibitionism, confession and advice. By Monday morning, many of you (us) had weighed in with more than 1,500 comments, from one-word quips to 300-word narratives, which we've now cherry-picked for everyone.
The next question is what should we ask you next time? Send your whispers, quips and suggestions for Live and Lust Poll III to firstname.lastname@example.org. —W. Kim Heron
Do you have anything you'd like to get off your chest to a past or present lover?
You aren't the best I ever had anymore — hahaha. —Bettie, straight, 23 years, 15 partners
I can't help it, I'm addicted to his cock. —Wendy, bisexual, 38 years, 40+ partners
You thought I didn't like having sex as much as you did! I just didn't like having sex with you!
—Heather, straight, 24 years, 10 partners
Dear So and So: I don't love you. I don't even like you, and I wish you would stop being a psycho and leave me alone. —Ann, straight, 26 years, 25 partners
You're only one of my boyfriends. —Deborah, bisexual, 20 years, 22 partners
J, I faked it every time. —Elsie, straight, 21 years, 21 partners
That I knew he had an STD! —Ang, 27 years, straight, 7 partners
I didn't really mean it offensively when I called it "the little man." Even though he was a really little guy. —Day, straight, 27 years, 3 partners
Present lover: Five times last Sunday was fantastic. All the others in my past: You suck. —Jay, straight, 28 years, 8 partners
Sorry about using the "I love you" line just to get some. —Troubleman, straight, 35 years, 15 partners
You weren't passionate because you were gay. —Gloria, 35, straight
I couldn't tell my girl that the real reason I used to eat her ass a lot was because it actually smelled and tasted better than "other parts" of her body. ... See? She's now an ex-girl cause I couldn't be open and honest with her. —Shaun, straight, 33 years, 6 partners
What's love got to do with it?
It makes the world go around ... and it is the only thing that the world needs more of. ... —DL, straight, 35 years, 11 partners
Love and lust go together like two ends of the same animal. Lust is the naughty end. —Sparkles, straight, 27 years, 1 partner
I love — me — enough to allow myself the pleasure of safe casual sex. —Kayla, bisexual, 26 years, 7 partners
Sex is the cupcake and love is the frosting ... delicious by themselves, but even better when combined. —Artificial Banana, bisexual, 23 years, 5 partners
I feel love comes from the heart, not the loins. I love my husband, but I have a lot of lust for many
other people, and it has nothing to do with my feelings for him.
—Wendy, bisexual, 38 years, 40+ partners
Everything — in my opinion. It makes it better, makes you feel happy before and after — in my other opinion. —Stanne, lesbian, 32 years, 3.5 partners
"I love you" is just something our hormones make us blurt out immediately following an orgasm ... if you don't have the wherewithal to bite your tongue or already have a gag in your mouth. —Sasha, straight, 29 years, 35 partners
Love is powerful "amp," turned up to 11 (not 10). Sorry, that's from This is Spinal Tap. Love pushes all the circuits to the "full-open" position, so that a hot fuck becomes a passionate quest. —Adamo, gay, 31 years, lots of sexual partners
Not much. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? —Shaggy, male, straight, 28 years, 28 partners
A lot, if you really enjoy great sex. —D-fresh, male, straight, 28 years, 10+ partners
Do you practice safe sex?
Abso-freakin-lutely! Every time. Well, almost every time. Most of the time. Yes, I do. —Conchetta, straight, 42 years
I am blunt. I think I passed health education in the seventh grade. —Adamo, gay, 31 years, lots of sexual partners
I'm married, but my wife and I use condoms to prevent pregnancy. I hope to get a vasectomy later this year. —Jeff, straight, 31 years, 20 partners
Wear a condom every time, every time!!!!!!!! —Thomas R., bisexual, 33 years, 35 partners.
When I was younger I wasn't always 100 percent careful ... it was more like 95 percent. And I get now that even that 5 percent is a big risk for a lot of things. —Shaun G., straight, 33 years, 6 partners
I'm a lesbian. If I get pregnant, I can only assume it's the second coming. My partners will have to deal. —Norah, lesbian, 23 years, 9 partners
Safe sex for a few months, then it's raw dawg all the way! I guess I am just lucky on the preggo tip! —JayDigga, straight, 24 years, 18 partners
I just have sex with the same guy all the time. Every month even. Well ... almost every month. We're married. And in love. —The Outsider, straight, 41 years
What's the biggest surprise you've ever had while getting it on?
It's always a surprise. —Marc, straight, 27 years, 6 partners
Shudder! ... Having my girlfriend's mom come to the door and say we were being too loud (girlfriend moans a lot) and it's keeping her dad up. —Steven, straight, 26 years, 2 partners
Bad surprise: That he had not taken care of his nails before fingering me. Good surprise: that he knew where my G-spot was and worked it. —Day, straight, 27 years, 3 partners
The dog coming up and sniffing my rear. —Gaz, straight, 37 years, 1 partner
While having sex, the dog was licking my feet and it felt, well, OMG, let's just say I was so confused afterward. —Ang, straight, 27 years, 7 partners
I actually came the first time I rode him. ... and now he's my current beau ... I wish I'd waited for him to take my virginity away. —D, straight, 24 years, 2 partners
That I'm one of the rare women who can have vaginal orgasms. I didn't discover it until I was 32. —Lynn, bisexual, 34 years, 30+ partners
Her cat clawed my balls. —Chevy, straight, 41 years, 1 partner
Cop at the car window. —Matthew, straight, 50 years, 75 partners
Some dumbass called me another girl's name. —Deanna, straight, 36 years, 30 partners
Ex's mom walked in on me getting head from her daughter. —No name, straight, 31 years, 8 partners
Talking on the phone to my mom while husband had me from the back. —No name, straight, 29 years
A dad's gun to my head. He had a fun sense of humor. —Buck, straight, 38 years, 50 partners
He stopped! He decided to take a break and turn it into a longer event. He had so much fun messing with me and I have to say it was pretty hot. —Heather, straight, 24 years, 10 partners
When I was 16, the boy (17) I was with asked me if I'd be the mother of his children ... not in 10 years, but that we should try to conceive immediately. Perhaps the most terrifying moment I've ever had during sex. In a rare show of will power, I was never intimate with him again. —Rosie, straight, 25 years, 23 partners
Apparently I can get off with nipple stimulation alone. Surprised the heck out of both of us! —Patti, straight, 28 years, 4 partners
When the seventh person snuck into the bathroom orgy with the ridiculously large dildo and tried to stick it up my ass. —Shelly, bisexual, 29 years, about 40 partners
Being spanked is always an initial surprise — and I am always surprised that I like it, because I would never allow someone to hit me in "real life." —Marie, straight, 31 years, 20 partners
How often do you think about sex?
10 percent of waking life. —Ace Ventura, straight, 45 years, 4 partners
I think I may have a male gene. I often feel abnormal because of how sexual I am. I think about sex most of the day every day. I always want to have more sex than the men I date do. Sexual fantasy plays a huge role in my life since I can't just have sex all the time in a monogamous relationship. —Amanda, bisexual, 27 years, 25 partners
Every day I think about it, then I do It. Dominating ... definitely. —No name, straight, 29 years, 1 partner
I think about sex more than I think is normal, at least for a woman. There are those clichés that women don't think about sex as much as men, but I'm pretty sure that I'm the exception with that one. I have fantasies about women more than men, and I've only been with women a few times. My boyfriend doesn't know that and actually is insecure about the fact that I masturbate at least twice a day. He thinks that means that I'm not satisfied with our sex life ... which I am, but it's not the same as when I'm by myself and I get to think about all the pussy that I want too. Shhhh, don't tell him. —Bettie, straight, 23 years, 15 partners
Now that I'm in a couple and am having sex on a regular basis, I find myself flashing back to our nighttime activities during the day. Nothing like spicing up a meeting at work or that bus ride home after work! —Patti, straight, 31 years, 4 partners
All the damn time. Seriously! I think I do think about it too much. —Yak Na, straight, 35 years, 100 partners
Ha, all the time ... he's just that good. I think if sexual thoughts consume you and affect your
ability to function normally otherwise, then yes, it's too much. We all have fantasies ... I haven't,
that I recall, fantasized during sex with anyone else, but I do rely on them for what I call my "spankbank"
to time. —No name, straight, 28 years, 15 partners
Multiple times a day. ... As much technology and automation as we have invented, isn't it sad
that we haven't freed up a full day a week or a month that we could just focus on sex?
—Tom, straight, 42 years, 12 partners
Ok, truthfully, what's the kinkiest thing you've ever done sexually?
I went to a club pantyless and let my man eat me out in a huge corner booth. —Peaches, straight, 34 years, 52 partners
I peed on my boyfriend. It was fun, but the cleanup was a bitch. —James, straight, 35 years, 10 partners
Double penetration with vibe and partner. Never will do again: Footing (much like fisting but with foot). —Layya, straight, 24 years, 10 partners
I've had a foursome with my friend and two guys I met at a party once, and I'll never do that again because I did it while I was just starting to date this guy that I really liked and it totally fucked up our relationship and trust issues once he found out. Luckily, I'm still with the guy and he's been understanding enough to keep my lame ass around. —Lily, straight, 22 years, 5 partners
I will never pay for a BJ again. —Santa, straight, 37 years, 12 partners
Had it in my backdoor while being spanked and my nipples clamped. I will not do hard BDSM, but I'm very into spanking. —Diane, bisexual, 45 years, 11 partners
Kinkiest: Four-way orgy with my man and our best friends. Won't do that ever again: My man left me for her. But it turned out very happy. I'm awesome without him. He is miserable with her. —Angel, straight, 29 years, 4 partners
It involved a blunt cigar. That's all I'm saying. ;-) —Chyna, straight, 32 years, 14 partners
I've had sex in a video surveillance room on a cruise ship. Been tied up. Had at least four threesomes. I'm not sure what I wouldn't do again. —Rain, straight, 28 years, 60 partners
Had sex with a girl whose two dates were passed out about four feet away. —Levi, straight, 49 years, 20 partners
Had sex in a JC Penney changing room, roadside rest stop off I-75, received a blow job in my car
while driving down Coolidge Highway a few years ago. Will try anything once.
—Kristoff, straight, 34 years, 16 partners
I think a threesome is the kinkiest thing I've ever tried. And I will never do it again. —Elsie, straight, 21 years, 21 partners
I once had two guys stimulating me with their mouths. It was great, but I'll probably never do it again. —GRRRL, straight, 26 years, 1 partner
Sucked a girl's pussy with a vacuum cleaner. She came. I laughed. —JayDigga, straight, 24 years, 18 partners
The kinkiest was using a vibrator on my clit and having anal. Amazing. I won't use a vibrator anally ever again. —Deborah, bisexual, 20 years, 22 partners
Sex in a movie theater during a matinee. I sat in his lap and wiggled a whole lot. —Sylvia, straight, 37 years, 26 partners
I once had a partner into asphyxiation. I quickly learned I was not. —Rosie, straight, 25 years, 23 partners
The kinkiest thing I ever did was get fucked for two hours behind my ex's grandmother's house on the air conditioner unit in the rain. Boring, right? —Bettie, straight, 23 years, 15 partners
Used sex card games and blindfolding. I will never have anal sex again. —Lo, straight, 19 years, 5 partners
I guess it would be a three-girl makeout session that was not done for the sake of any guys. —Pebbles, straight, 31 years, "????" partners
Cross-dressing, bondage, anal, BDSM. Sadly all alone. —Pops, straight, 31 years, 3 partners
I like to do it in public. Like being at dinner with friends, excusing myself to the bathroom, having sex then going back to the table like nothing ever happened. I won't swallow cum again. —Jazzycali, straight, 28 years
Orgy: sex with other couples and fucking a friend's sister in front of her. Three girls and myself I would not do again. Getting too old for that ride. —Terry, straight, 49 years, 300 partners
Doggy-style in the woods off of Hines Drive in Plymouth, and a random guy walked right past us not three feet away and never said anything and just glanced at us for a second and kept walking. I was definitely startled. —Ann, straight, 26 years, 25 partners
Sometimes I enjoy role-playing, but most of the time it's just me dressing up as a school girl, or a French maid, etc. —S, straight, 21 years, 4 partners
Never done anything kinky, sad but true. —Troubleman, straight, 35 years, 15 partners
Define a satisfying sex life.
When you sigh with content and contempt. And, no, I sadly have not. =( —Liza, straight,
Everyone gets what they want and no one has complaints. I am currently satisfied with my sex life.
—Jacqueline, straight, 21 years, 5 partners
We talk about past sex we've had during the sex we're having, and we get more excited. I don't know what that's called, but that's good. We all have a sexual greatest-hits reel in our minds. —Bronson, straight, 31 years, 12 partners
At a minimum, every morning. What a wonderful way to wake up. I have never been satisfied, I have never been in a relationship where I got it every time I wanted it. I do however give it anytime I am asked, even when I might not want it (very rarely) so that when I ask, I don't get turned down! —Evil, straight, 36 years, 60+ partners
Heart-pounding, breathtaking with chills and sweats all at the same time. There is only one person that can do it every time. —Lauren, lesbian, 28 years, 20 partners
Orgasms every time. That is definitely satisfying.
—Hot 91, straight, 38, "NYB" partners
The perfect girl with the right amount of class and sleaze; rough one minute, tender the next;
acrobatic and sweaty. If you don't have battle scars the next
day, you're doing it wrong. Yes, I have been satisfied. —JOTS, straight, 28 years, 13 partners
Yes, but it's usually short-lived. —Sven, straight, 25 years, 5 partners
What do you now know that you wish you'd known sooner?
Oral is real sex. —Stanne, lesbian, 32 years, 3.5 partners
That other guys found me hot. —Josh, gay, 51 years, 500 partners
My ex would fall back in love with me if we had post-breakup sex. —Billy, straight, 23 years, 3 partners
Everyone watches or looks at porn. —Marie, straight, 31 years, 20 partners
The backdoor shouldn't have been off-limits. —No name, straight, 28 years, 15 partners
I now know that sex can be incredible and fun after many unsatisfying partners. ... Cut and run if you cannot relax and open up with someone. —No name, straight, 26 years, 10 partners
Pornography destroys a sex life – doesn't enhance it. It's an evil that should be eliminated from society. —Joe, straight, 30 years, 1 partner
I had a one-night stand with a friend after breaking up with my first boyfriend and it totally messed up our friendship. I only ended up there because I was depressed and alone. Some friendly advice: Don't have rebound sex. It usually doesn't work out. —Lily, straight, 22 years, 5 partners
My true nature. I had run away from the scene and it nearly killed me to be away from what is part of me, part of my body, part of my being, my heart and my soul. —Diane, bisexual, 45 years, 11 partners
I wish I had known about HPV when I first became sexually active. —Angel, straight, 29 years, 4 partners
About the Rabbit vibrator. Who needs a man with that? —Lady Pain, bisexual, 33 years, "NYB" partners
I wish I knew how much I enjoyed sucking dick. I would have sucked a lot more and gotten paid a lot more. —Deanna, straight, 36 years, 30 partners
How to make him hit my G-spot. Awesome. —Chynna, straight, 32 years, 14 partners
That I could really date small chicks. —Terrell, straight, 37 years, 25 partners
That sex with tall girls is totally hot. —Hulk, straight, 44 years, 20 partners
I wish I'd known that if you treat a man like a sexual toy, it's going to make him want to be more than just a sexual toy. LOL. —Lynn, bisexual, 34 years, 30+ partners
That girls are a lot more fun to get off than guys. —Artificial Banana, bisexual, 23 years old, 5 partners
I occasionally like playing with a guy in front of my wife. She made me do it one time and I really enjoyed it. —Tom, straight, 54 years, 80 partners
Men don't know crap about pleasing a woman sexually. —Sylvia, straight, 37 years, 26 partners
That there are men who really, really enjoy cunnilingus. Not ones who do it without complaint. But ones who are really turned on by it. —Heather, straight, 24 years, 10 partners
That being lazy with sex can be enjoyable. Not forcing extra energy out can be somewhat relaxing and mellow. —Tyra, bisexual, 26 years, 26 partners
I wish I got more comfortable in my own skin at an earlier age. I wish I could have whispered to my younger self — walk away! —Kitty Law, straight, 38 years, 25 partners
If you are plump, your partner knows that you're chubby before you even get naked. The same rolls and chub that you are awkwardly trying to hide in bed are the same ones s/he saw when you wore that horribly ill-fitting top to the movies. Own and love every inch of your body and they will too. —Kayla, bisexual, 26 years, 7 partners
After sex have you ever asked, How did I wind up here? How did you?
Yes. Had sex with a good friend during a dry period because there was some sexual tension. It basically ruined our friendship. ... After our second time having sex, mind you, she was in my arms, I asked, "Are we cool?" Never ask that question. —No name, straight, 31 years, 8 partners
Yes, getting drunk and horny. —Terrell, straight, 37 years, 25 partners
Yes. A one-night stand in Miami Beach and one in Beverly Hills. Right place, right time. —Hulk, straight, 44 years, 20 partners
Yes, a few times. There was once I thought I would have to perform "coyote ugly." —Jada, straight, 29 years, 16 partners
I once woke up with my friend's sister. We had no idea how we got there or exactly what happened. —Mr. Vamp, straight, 28 years, 60 partners
LOL. No, but have been asked, "What's your name?" —Lola, bisexual, 33 years, 49 partners
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