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12/2/2009
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Video > Couch Trip

Soft-core stocking sillies
Recommended DVDs the precise lingo of '70s tease
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Screwballs 
Severin Films

B-cinema's king, Roger Corman, commissioned the Screwballs script and put up half the money for the flick's production. So dig it: The, uh, plot, is about a group of horny '50s high school boys determined to see the perky boobs of the cock-teasing Taft & Adams homecoming queen Purity Bush. (Think of that! Purity Bush is T&A's homecoming queen!) 

OK, what Screwballs does have is an insanely infantile sense of comedy and goofy cinematic style to go with it. Rafal Zielinski filmed it like a raunchy boobified version of the Archies with touches of Chaplinesque slapstick tossed in for good measure. Incongruent period furniture and a distinctly '80s rockabilly soundtrack add to the laughs. Never before on DVD, it comes with a bevy of extras including a great interview with a Canuxploitation scholar who explains how Canada became the center of the "Balls" comedy film genre. It gives new meaning to "O Canada!"


Schoolgirl Report Vol. 1-5
Impulse Pictures

What is it about the schoolgirl that's the ultimate male fantasy? I think the answer lies somewhere within the psyched-out '70s Schoolgirl Report films by Wolf C. Hartwig and Ernst Hofbauer. A series of German pseudo-documentaries made to look like "educational" films, each was said to show real parents and students facing the problems of German youth of the day. And of all of these problems the only one discussed was S - E - X! 

In Vol. 5 of the series, What All Parents Should Know, a hard-hitting problem like how a girl should seduce her teacher while on a field trip is addressed. Other topics include how to seduce a priest who teaches at your school, or how two girls can hook up with two plumbers that work at your school. 

Yeah, well ... it's all an excuse to show eye-popping displays of German babes in some ridiculous sexual situations. Each DVD is filled of bountiful bush, polyester butterfly collars, turquoise-blue eye shadow and dudes in Jim Palmer bikini-styled undies. H - O - T! Plus, you also get the incredibly groovy music stylings of German composer Gert Wilden.

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