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Best Of

Best of the Worst

A selection of the wisecracks, flashes of wisdom and inanities from the Best of Detroit ballots

More from Metro Times staff

Metro Retro (10/6/2010)
Looking back on 30 years of MT coverage

Metro Retro (9/29/2010)
Looking back on 30 years of Metro Times

Metro Retro (9/22/2010)
Looking back on 30 years of Metro Times


Published 9/29/2004

Best place to hike:

Mt. Everest, Outer Drive

Best intimate live music venue:

Chene Park

Best place to fish:

The bathtub

Best smoke shop:

Stop smoking!

Best place to spot a celebrity:


Best place to buy organic food:


Best thrift store:


Best place to cruise:


Best place to bicycle:


Best pick-up spot:


Best beer selection in a bar:


Best place for a first date:


Best Michigan vacation spot:


Best Ontario vacation spot:

Who cares?

Best way to promote safe sex:

Be ugly, hairy-backed men,
condom earrings, give condoms
with new cell phones,
peddle condoms, Trojan Maaannnnn,
wait awhile, abstinence, monogamy,
see friends die from AIDS

Best place to hear poetry:

In my room, any kindergarten class

Best after-hours:

Bed, it’s a secret

Best strip club:

In my bedroom

Best-looking bar staff:

They all look good after drinking

Best place to buy lingerie:

Farmer Jack, Avon Call-Me

Best seafood:


Best place to see bling-bling:


Best trend to avoid:

The next big thing

Best reason to vote:

Free cookies?, meet people, surprise them, to subvert capitalism, boredom, brains, Bush is the Antichrist

Best reason not to read Metro Times:

Can’t handle the truth, absurdly liberal, biased, snobby, avoid paper cuts,because you’re driving, What fool wouldn’t?

More best of Detroit 2004:

Community values
Department of commerce
Nutritional value
Steppin’ out
Reader’s Poll

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